It's official - he graduated Kindergarten. Barely... ;-) He had 24 assents and 5 tardy’s. But that's to be expected. Some days it just isn't "convenient" for him to attend. But that's just my parenting skills. Hopefully we get through grade school.
Graduation day was one to be remembered. Instead of the congratulatory hugs and kisses - we got into a fight. And a big one. I started suggesting that Jake wear something NICE to graduation. (Maybe we could erase all those awful images of every OTHER day of hole-in-the-pant jeans and stained t-shirts.
So, around 10:30 I said, "How about we wear a shirt and tie today. It's graduation - a day you will NEVER forget." I should have been talking to a wall. It didn't sink in.
Come 11:30 I say, "Wouldn't it be nice if you wear a nice shirt and tie to graduation - all the other kids are wearing one."
Come 12:00 I say, "Get on your shirt and tie!"
Come 12:15 I say, "If you don't get on your shirt and tie, you won't be going to graduation!!!" (Graduation started at 12:40)
Come 12:30 I say, "JAKE!!! GET ON YOUR SHIRT AND TIE!!!"
At this point he strips down to underwear and starts bawling on his bed - "I WILL NOT WEAR THAT!!!" I tried to give him choices; I tried bargaining; I tried bribery; I tried pleading. None of it worked. After MUCH (and I mean MUCH) fighting, I grab his foot and tried to get his pants on. Well, duh, that doesn't work! I just got a foot in the face, but not in the pants. So I yell, "WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!" and throw the shirt and tie at him. (Hmm, am I the one that is six??)
Then I grab my camera and tell him that I am going to graduation and I will pick up his D*&N diploma for him. (Such a kind and patient mother I am.) He runs into the car with puffy eyes and looking like he just got out of rehab: STAINED shirt and the infamous hole-in-the-knee jeans. UGH!!!! Oh, and no shoes.
ME: "Jake, you look like a damn orphan."
Juliana: "YEAH! And you are NOT going into that graduation barefoot. Get on your shoes!"
So we arrive at the graduation at 12:52. They were WAITING for us (how embarrassing!) He was furious the entire program and wouldn't look at me. I wanted to get a family photo at the end, but he wouldn't agree. I can't blame him, I did swear at him a lot that day. (Please forgive me, it was a frustrating moment and he DID look like a damn orphan.)
I did learn one thing today: PICK YOUR BATTLES. Seriously, was it really worth the fight to get one photo of him in a shirt and tie? He found out I don't have patience and yelling doesn't make him wear what I want him to. It only made us mad and we didn't get any ice cream after graduation.
But he did graduate, even if he did look like an orphan.
And I couldn't be more proud.
Graduation day was one to be remembered. Instead of the congratulatory hugs and kisses - we got into a fight. And a big one. I started suggesting that Jake wear something NICE to graduation. (Maybe we could erase all those awful images of every OTHER day of hole-in-the-pant jeans and stained t-shirts.
So, around 10:30 I said, "How about we wear a shirt and tie today. It's graduation - a day you will NEVER forget." I should have been talking to a wall. It didn't sink in.
Come 11:30 I say, "Wouldn't it be nice if you wear a nice shirt and tie to graduation - all the other kids are wearing one."
Come 12:00 I say, "Get on your shirt and tie!"
Come 12:15 I say, "If you don't get on your shirt and tie, you won't be going to graduation!!!" (Graduation started at 12:40)
Come 12:30 I say, "JAKE!!! GET ON YOUR SHIRT AND TIE!!!"
At this point he strips down to underwear and starts bawling on his bed - "I WILL NOT WEAR THAT!!!" I tried to give him choices; I tried bargaining; I tried bribery; I tried pleading. None of it worked. After MUCH (and I mean MUCH) fighting, I grab his foot and tried to get his pants on. Well, duh, that doesn't work! I just got a foot in the face, but not in the pants. So I yell, "WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT!" and throw the shirt and tie at him. (Hmm, am I the one that is six??)
Then I grab my camera and tell him that I am going to graduation and I will pick up his D*&N diploma for him. (Such a kind and patient mother I am.) He runs into the car with puffy eyes and looking like he just got out of rehab: STAINED shirt and the infamous hole-in-the-knee jeans. UGH!!!! Oh, and no shoes.
ME: "Jake, you look like a damn orphan."
Juliana: "YEAH! And you are NOT going into that graduation barefoot. Get on your shoes!"
So we arrive at the graduation at 12:52. They were WAITING for us (how embarrassing!) He was furious the entire program and wouldn't look at me. I wanted to get a family photo at the end, but he wouldn't agree. I can't blame him, I did swear at him a lot that day. (Please forgive me, it was a frustrating moment and he DID look like a damn orphan.)
I did learn one thing today: PICK YOUR BATTLES. Seriously, was it really worth the fight to get one photo of him in a shirt and tie? He found out I don't have patience and yelling doesn't make him wear what I want him to. It only made us mad and we didn't get any ice cream after graduation.
But he did graduate, even if he did look like an orphan.
And I couldn't be more proud.
12 comments:
I'm so proud of that little guy. The story is even better when you hear it twice! Give him a big bear hug and tell him Congrats.
Maybe, maybe someday you will look back and laugh at the whole experience! At least I got a good laugh out of it! And maybe someday Jake will look back at these pics and wish he had worn a shirt and tie;)
Oh.. I forgot. What about the Napoleon Dynamite boots?
Well I'm glad I'm not the only one that swears at my kids. (I couldn't say that on my own blog because my mom would see it.)
Anyways that was pretty funny. I'm glad he graduated even if he did look like a "damn" orphan.
By the way, holes in the jeans are the style.
I think the damn orphan looks good. This is the funniest post I have read in a long time. I can't believe how big he is getting.
Congratulations on your Graduate! That is awesome.
Well, it's nice to see someone else swears at their kids sometimes. It makes me feel much better in my parenting techniques. You are a great mom and we learn from our experiences. Congrats to Jake! Only 12 more years to go! :)
Your post made me laugh. Then I read it to Dave and I laughed again. Congratulations to Jake for graduating from Kindergarten. I haven't heard when Landon's is, but I will post about it. I also have to say I agree with you. You do have to choose your battles. Landon does the exact same things and it is frustrating!
Jen, I love love love this post. I love how honest you are. I love your parenting style. I love you.
So, I have one just like it. This is what I do.
I don't give choices when it comes to things like this. The night before, I get out the item he will wear. I never ask him if he thinks it will be nice, or a good thing. He has no option. I don't sweat the small stuff on other days...but for things like this, it is my way. Period. It works for us. He knows he has choices most of the time, but when mom doesn't ask...he just knows.
But...I think Jake is adorable no matter what. And, just think...it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining for the rest of us if he had worn a shirt and tie!
You are a great mom. And..if any mom says she doesn't swear at her kids on occasion...SHE IS LYING!!!
I literally have tears in my eyes! This is one of my all time favorite posts I have EVER read on ANY blog. Seriously Jen, you are so awesome for telling this story to the rest of us. It is SO comforting to know I'm not the only one who goes a little cuckoo sometimes.
Oh, and by the way... I'm positive I've never heard you swear. Much as I try, I can't even imagine it! You must have been really ticked off.
Thank you for posting this! You made my week!
That was an AWESOME post!! I was laughing the whole time too (good thing you can laugh about it now, right?!) And just think, at the next kindergarten graduation you attend, you won't be late because of jeans with holes, you'll just be late because Addy will be changing her clothes so much!!
I love that you told this story. I had to learn this lesson with MaKaya. It is very hard to take them in public or something important when they look like mis-matched orphans. I have yelled and been mad many a times. Thanks for sharing. I feel a little more normal today.
In looking at the other kids in his class, I'm thinking other moms had the same fight with their kids!
Love the story and your honesty. I could picture the whole thing and I'm smiling!
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