Thursday, September 18, 2008

Snakes, Pizza and Dolls - Random Posts


So much has happened this week!

Let's start last Thursday:
Jake doesn't like to eat hot lunch, except Thursdays. It's pizza day.
"Mom, you gotta try this pizza. It's amazing." (it's Little Ceasars, how good could it be?)
So he invites us to join him on Thursday for lunch then reminds us every ten minutes to be there or miss this mouth-watering pizza. We hurry down to the school but arrive at 11:34. 4 minutes after lunch begins. Which is about 4 minutes too late. He had already eaten half the pizza. So, we go stand in line, pay for the lunch and take it to the table. Most of the friends are gone. He chats for a few minutes, asks us how we like the pizza and tells us about his day. Then he says, "Well, I gotta go."
Um, no he doesn't. He has 20 minutes left of lunch!!
"Jake, can't you wait just a minute longer?" He then stands up and starts pacing. He waits another 30 seconds and says, "Mom, I really gotta go - the Ben 10 club is meeting during lunch." Oh, so my child has joined a club and needs to meet. Fine. Go ahead.


So I am now left sitting in the cafeteria with my two girls and the janitor who is shouting - "Hurry up kids!" Thinking he is referring to me, I start eating really fast. Now I am feeling foolish - I am eating by myself with my two preschoolers. As if I decided I needed a cheap lunch. "Hey!! Let's eat at a school!" Finally, the next group of kids came in. I had two little girls come and sit right by me. I thought, "How cute!! They are being so nice!"

Come to find out, I was sitting in their assigned spot. I don't think I will be joining Jake for lunch anytime soon.

Monday:
We had an impromptu Slip N Slide party. Some people chose to wear clothing...

Others did not...
Some people wished we had MORE than a slip n slide...
And some people are considered "Special Needs Snorkelers."
Tuesday:
Jake rushes home from school. After doing homework, our neighbors came over to play. A favorite pastime of Jake's is catching snakes. We have a gazillion in our yard. Harmless ones, but snakes nonetheless. Snake catching has never been a problem before; Jake's too scared to actually touch them. He just hunts them for hours. Except today.

He walks in with his handy-dandy critter catcher and a rather large snake. Of course, he "forgot" the rule: no snakes, mice, critters, bugs or rats in the house. He and his friend start to build a little cage for the new "pet" while listening to me repeat the same sentence, "NO snakes in the house!" I might as well have been talking to a wall.

I walked outside momentarily when I heard, "AHHHH!!!" then three pairs of little feet running outside. I quickly ran in and found this:
Our new little friend was on the kitchen rug. I informed Jake that this was HIS problem and now he had to fix it because I certainly wasn't going to touch it.

Just then, the little critter slithered straight for the heater vent....AND VANISHED!!! I pretty much freaked out. I could imagine watching TV in the basement and our new friend falling from the vent and landing in my hair. Our lying in bed while a snake slithered over me.

Of course, I grossly dramatized the whole event. Jake put a box over the vent and eventually the snake crawled out a few hours later. Jake then took him outside. Of course, I learned something: snake poop is rather large AND it stinks. We aren't getting a snake...ever.

I hope he can remember the rule next time.


Yesterday, I was in a hurry to go to Jake's soccer game. I placed my purse on the car floor and straped Juliana in the car seat. The door started closing when I realized - I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE CAR....AGAIN. (It really happens frequently.)

No worries. I run inside to get the spare key. BUT, I had previously placed it in a "safe" place. It would be helpful if I could remember WHERE that safe place was. Juliana was strapped safely in the seat. She could reach the lock, but she "didn't want to." Or she "can't reach it." After 20 minutes of talking her into actually doing something, she turned her head and fell asleep! What a helper!

Jeff then goes to work prying open windows, removing weather stripping, etc. He then props the sliding van door open with a rock at one end. It is still locked at the front. (Hard to imagine, I know.)

Ironically (and, in my opinion, by divine intervention) a LOCKSMITH drives by. Serious. A sign? I think so. I start to flag him down, but hubby says, "No need. I can do this..."

Sadly, I loose interest and start to clean the kitchen. It isn't like I left him - I offered to call a lock smith AND the cops. Jeff is so patient. I would be swearing at my eternal companion, but he only says, "WE (meaning me) really need to pay attention to what we are doing." "WE (meaning me) really need to get spare keys; this happens too often."

Jake gets home from his soccer game (a nice parent brought him) and says, "let me go put my stuff away then I will come help..." (HA HA!!)

After 2.5 hours, a neighbor comes over to help. They were trying everything (oh, except call the cops or triple A.) 2.45 hours go by and Jake's friend's dad (the one he was at the soccer game with) calls me and said he called Triple A to come unlock the car at no cost to me. What a hero! 10 minutes later, the neighbor came and said she called the police.

But there WAS no need! Jeff and Steve came up with a genius device:

They finally unlocked the car using their handy-dandy wrench extender! The police arrive just as they opened it. He was quite impressed with their new device but claimed they would make the worst criminals.

And we called and canceled Triple A.
I am now on my way to get SEVERAL sets of spare keys and put them in "not-so-special" places.

AND Finally:

We are having a yard sale on Saturday - and I have a dilemma. Someone gave me this beautiful doll for my wedding. (Random gift, I know.)

I have a feeling she spent several hundreds of dollars on this doll. She's certified. But what am I going to do with it? She has sat in it's box for about 11 years now. I would hate to sell it at the yard sale for $5 bucks if (by SMALL chance) it has value. I also don't want to keep it for another 11 years but she is beautiful.

Any ideas?? What would YOU do?

13 comments:

Kati said...

I love your blog. I love it because your kids are seriously the most entertaining little things EVER. You really need to update more often, because your blog completes me.

How dare you get rid of the doll that I gave you for your wedding. Mat and I had NOTHING when you got married. We sold everything we owned so we could give you such a precious gift. I am so hurt.

Love you.

Gretch said...

HA HA HA! I love hearing all the dilimas that you get yourself into. It really is comical for the rest of us... :) I'm sure you're laughing now, right? So I don't think I have ever been happier to just have girls after hearing the snake story. I totally would have freaked out. So did Julianna sleep the whole time in the car? How is the "Ben 10 gang" I hear they're the hoodlums in town. :) Glad life is always exciting for you.

rsheedy said...

That snake story is still freaking me out. Especially the part where it might crawl thru the vent and land on your head while you're lying in bed...I seriously cannot imagine a more horrifying scenario. YIKES!!!

All About M.E.('s) said...

Ha ha-great blog! And eewww the snake...I haven't thought a lot about snake poop, I am a little surprised that it's big and it stinks.
About the doll....save it for a couple of years and then give it to one of your girls for their birthday-they will love it. Or, sell it at the yard sale for 5 bucks. Either one works. Maybe I'll buy it.

Rachel said...

Huh. A doll. Interesting wedding gift. I would sell it, but then again, I have about zero sentimentality. How much? That's a hard one. I'm sure you could ask Marie Osmond.

I want you to know I laughed out loud, and also screamed and shuddered whilst reading this post. The snake was almost too much for me to handle. The image of you sitting in those little girl's assigned seats at lunch though took me back to Grant School and got me all nostalgic. It was enough to get me through the snake business.

I here by nominate this post for an award. I'll have to get back to you on what the award is though. :P

The Gorringes said...

ariane's blog

Monica Lifferth said...

Your kids crack me up. What a great post!

The Lund Five said...

What a great post! I can't believe that Jake brought a snake in the house. I would be so mad if Landon ever did that. I was wondering if you still have those file folder game books? If you do could you bring them to the cousin BBQ tomarrow. I would really appreciate it. I want to do some for Reagan's Birthday and I am missing a piece to one of them and need to recopy it.

Craig Lifferth said...

Love those stories. Looks like an adventures week in PG. Love ya sis.

The Hafen Family said...

FU-NNY stuff. Love the pacing at the lunch table. Sounds like my son.

whitney said...

Wow-you had quite the week. Loved the pizza story. I can just picture it (teeheehee). I can't even believe you were so cool about the whole snake thing. I would've been freaking out at the first hint of a snake, not just after it slid into the vent. As for the car-hahaha! Who needs triple A?...gotta love husbands. I'm uber-impressed that you've kept the doll for 11 years. I probably would've given it to DI (or even worse, thrown in away) in one of my random organizing frenzies. Overall-LOVED the post.

Kendy said...

Your kids a hilarious as are you! Drama, drama, drama! I'm glad you are all well and safe because it sounds like that snake could've totally eaten you alive! Hee hee.

Love Kendy

Sydney said...

Okay, I love that everyone is all "oohhh snake" and stuff but seriously, your daughter was in a car for 2.45 hours and slept through the whole thing of Jeff trying to get her out?? Wow, that's some sleeper.

This post made me laugh out loud "Ben 10 club!" LOVE IT!